Listen to the below Mindful Meditation on Nourishment to see!!
How often have you been hurt?
Once, twice, half a dozen times?
I'm talking hurt big. I'm talking hurt like you felt your heart was going to be pulled from your chest or blasted into a million minuscule pieces.
Take a moment to think about this. Like go on, indulge me.
What happened? Did you see it coming? Did you play a part in the hurt? Did you swear never to do something in the future as a result of something in the present?
Chances are, whatever it was, however many times it has happened, it didn't feel great right?
Okay now let's talk about the little hurts. How many times have you been hurt a little?
Several times, a dozen or maybe even multiple?
I'm taking hurt small. I'm talking hurt like you felt disappointed, like you got down because of something that happened. You maybe felt uneasy, anxious, let down. Your body felt slumpy or heavy.
Take a moment to think about this. Please play along with me.
What happened? Did you see it coming? Did you play a part in the hurt? Did you understand that sometimes it's okay to hurt like this?
Chances are, whatever it was, however many times it happened, it didn't feel great right?
What if you got minusculely (I don't reckon that's even a word but let's play) hurt every single day? What if you hurt yourself day in day out, all day long?
That sounds stupid right? Why would you do that? I hear you say. Yet, we do, we actively hurt ourselves on a daily basis.
When we say yes when we mean no
When we pick at a wound (not physically but mentally)
When we compare ourselves to the people/world around us (Facebook, twitter, instagram)
When we pick a fight because we are used to it
When we say idiotic things to ourselves like; i'm not good/slim/healthy/smart enough (take your pick)
When we berate ourselves
When we think mean things about ourselves
When we act out our dissatisfaction with this compared life on the people around us
When we go in daily to jobs we hate
When we stay with a partner who is abusive and/or controlling
When we don't follow the rules we set for ourselves
When we don't stay on track with a goal that may well be out of date
When we don't look after ourselves as well as we could
When we stay small
Quite a few months ago I came to the realisation that I was hurting myself on quite a number of occasions daily. It was a variety of the above but mainly the whole Facebook comparison thing. I have talked about it before but I have been hearing from friends and clients recently that they still compare their worst day with others' fake (or potentially real) best life on the internet. I decided that what I didn't know wouldn't...couldn't then hurt me.
If you, like me, are sick to the back teeth (ha, haven't heard that one for ages) of being hurt then please take a note of how many times you actually do this to yourself daily and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!
That is all.
Love you, now go be awesome all by yourself and think about this post.
Happy New Year to you,
I have been reading heaps lately from blogs I follow, magazines and websites about setting New Year Resolutions. I’m a bit over reading how this year will herald something new and exciting. Don’t get me wrong, I think setting goals for yourself and following through on dreams is crucial for living a life on purpose. Exciting too in many many ways but why do we set them to start on the 1st of January every year? It begs the question, why aren’t we living the way we want all the time, all year? Why do we need to create Resolutions when we could be living Authentically all year round?
The way forward is whatever you say it is.
This could be the year that you decide to live life on your terms and instead of make resolutions, reveal to yourself ways in which you can live life. I recently read a post called 14 Fucks I refuse to give in 2014. It was fresh and interesting and the girl who wrote it was not afraid to live life her way, authentically.
Most typical posts I have been seeing.
I plan to lose weight.
Doesn’t everyone or at least many people you know set this one?
That often goes along with eat better and go to the gym. Gym memberships soar in January more than any other month. It’s no secret that the industry promote free monthly trials and incentives like it to get your business through their doors.
You almost feel obligated to put this on your list of resolutions.
But have you ever thought why you do this?
What if you feel you should but you are a person who loathes the gym?
What if the sight of a salad sends you into a fit of depression?
You’ll aim to go to the gym and eat salad only to end up disappointing yourself when you have your first bite of cake or pint of beer.
So, instead of setting a goal around what you feel you SHOULD do, how about you set a goal on what you actually want to do? What resonates with you? Long walks in nature, wi fit (hey you’ll still get exercise). How about changing one bad eating habit instead of trying out a whole new way of eating? That might work better for you.
You see what I’m saying here though. It’s entirely up to you. Hell, you might realise that you’ve been aiming to lose weight for someone else rather than yourself and end up deciding that you love your body just the way it is thank you very much!
When we make this resolution, it often goes hand in hand with our wellbeing and yes, obviously as an ex-nurse I would say they were good resolutions to have yet the very word quitting immediately brings a response by the body of pure tension. Quitting something seems hard, quitting something seems like deprivation and nobody likes being deprived of something, especially if they enjoy it. It will fail big time because as soon as we feel deprived we often crave something more than ever. Unless we do the work required of ourselves to find an inner strength so that we know we absolutely (if we’re being truthful and authentic) want to give something up.
Again smoking may be something you enjoy and you find real pleasure in it. Drinking may be something you do only socially or you might choose to keep it to a minimum during the week.
Take your own path. Create your own reality by living authentically, living your truth. Grounding yourself in the present.
Whatever you decide, do it on your own terms. Make your own rules....or not…
I haven't been posting much lately because I have had a break and also am very very close to finishing the first draft of my novel. Yes I have finally realised a long held dream of finishing writing a book.
Now I have to put it into order, allow the first drafts to be read and then flesh it all out to enable me to send it to an editor.
It is a very exciting time and yet I find myself at the stage that we all find ourselves in at some point or another. Asking all the nitty gritty inner critic questions to myself like...
Who will read this?
Will people want to read it?
Is it actually any good anyway?
What if people who read the first draft think it sucks big time and I shouldn't bother?
Who's gonna publish it anyway?
Yada yada yada and on it goes...
Well I have learned over the years that that pesky inner critic is simply a voice that is trying to keep me in check. It's the voice that will have us running scared from our long held dreams and from living a life on our terms.
I have learned that I can buy into it or I can be solely responsible for my own happiness in life and ignore it.
I am choosing to ignore it and here's why.
I recently pulled out a stack of my old journals and realised something that really rather shocked me!
For years and years two consistent things I wrote down are that some day I would love to have my own book on the shelf/kindle/whatever and that I want to speak another language fluently.
It got to the point that I got fed up with myself reading year after year how I would do this and yet had nothing to show for it.
I decided that this was the year I would pick up a language, pick up my pen (ok laptop but it didn't really work well in the sentence now did it?) and realise my two dreams.
The writing part was easy because I adore it and the French was a bit harder but so enjoyable.
WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG? WHY WHY WHY? I cried out!
I am sure you have something in your own life that you have always wanted to realise, bring to life or start doing but you have waited perhaps for the exact right moment. Or perhaps you thought you were getting too old or (insert excuse).
But guess what?
You're not too old
It's not too late
You can do anything you plan to do and make a goal around
You have everything you need to get started
You can start today
You can follow your dream
You can do it
Believe in yourself
Do something right now
Wait no more
It feels amazing and I am going to keep going with my dream of being published even if it takes me years and years. I just bought and downloaded onto my ipad Writers' & Artists' Yearbook 2014.
A valuable resource for learning all about getting your work out into the world.
I will learn all I can from various resources and I challenge you to do just one thing today to realise a long held dream.
Life is for living not waiting!
Newsletters are monthly every second Friday of the month.
On Monday's I will be posting a mindfulness video as my business is moving more in this direction.
I am still taking coaching clients, yet this may change in 2014 so if you have ever fancied having a coach to help realise your dreams now is the time to get in touch. I have many coaching packages available to choose from.
I know I was going to post Part 2 of the Spring Cleanse Today but my good friend from Melbourne is here for a week and I haven/t seen her in such a long time!
So, this week I am posting a video that I filmed about a year ago and it was only on my vimeo channel.
Here it is.
See you next Monday for Part 2 of the Spring Cleanse xx
Those of you who aren't living in New Zealand, we have had many many aftershocks since Sunday's 6.5 magnitude earthquake.
Today I am popping up this short visual meditation I took some time ago in the beautiful city of Wellington.
Look up at the pretty clouds and feel your mind expand :)
Repeat as necessary...
I decided last week to go on an adventure. I renamed Wednesday’s Adventure Wednesday.
So last Wednesday evening my bug from Bali came back in full force and knocked me to the floor once again.
I won’t go into details because it isn’t really pretty but I ended up back in the Emergency Room for the second time in the space of a month.
I felt defeated and deflated. I felt my strong body had let me down. I was majorly fed up and found myself in a bad place within.
I had a whole week of being holed up in my apartment and couldn’t concentrate on much at all. So without life’s usual distractions (work, reading, watching TV, surfing the internet, caring for others etc.), we are left with…just us.
Some people find this very challenging and I always liked to think of myself as someone who was completely ok being in solitude and just with myself. So it came as quite a shock to me that I really wasn’t comfortable with it at all.
It started with the questions I began to ask myself about everything in my life. I began to question all that I had and all that I wanted (with the one exception of my husband- he is by far the best thing to have ever happened to me). Yet everything else was up for grabs!
Here’s an example of some of the questions, which surfaced in the silence and served to scare me:
It got to the point where I was almost driving myself crazy with all of these questions.
So as my bug was finally healed on Tuesday evening, I decided (with my weak and fragile body) to make Wednesday an adventure of a different kind. One that went within.
How could I find the home within?
How could I be comfortable with my sense of self?
Without knowing all the answers to the above questions and instead of driving myself batty aiming to answer them, I decided to go inside and find some solid ground.
An inner awareness is finding your home within, your place of peace, calm, nourishment from the inside that seeps out into your everyday life to, not even transform your every day life, rather to unfold itself softly into existence.
I spent the whole day in silence until my husband got home. I breathed deeply, found peace on my yoga mat, in books, in my body, in the shower. If a question arose, which they did often, I gave myself permission to gently let it go. I found quietness in between the busyness of my mind and I soothed myself with words of kindness.
I came to realise that I may never have the answers to the questions I was asking and actually, that’s ok.
I am enough right now, I seek validation because I am always too invested in the opinion of others when really the only place that’s real exists right here…in my heart, in my open palm, in my eyes when I look in the mirror.
I will trust that life will be kind one moment and cruel the next. Inexplicable things will happen to me and those I love yet as long as I can step into the beauty of my own being then I can continue to be free to be exactly who I was born to be.
A miracle child.
As we all are.
And even if things don't go according to a plan you think you have for your life, it doesn't mean your life didn't matter. xx
I recently started a writing programme online with an amazing author SARK.
She talks a lot about the inner wise self.
The part of you who is 100% authentic, genuine, loving, caring and wants only the very best for you. Some people call it an inner guide, an inner knowing, your highest self.
I call it intuition. Intuition has been my friend my whole life but it's only recently that I began to listen and trust her and what she said.
I ignored her for so long and was basically tuned in only to my inner critic voice. The one who tells you all the things you'll never do, have or be and exactly why.
SARK encourages us writers to tune into the loving voice rather than the critic. The critic will only serve to stop us. The inner wise self will motivate and indeed inspire us to find our authentic voice and write and indeed live from that wise place. It will actually encourage us to write and actively give us the momentum we need.
My wish for you is to tune into it also.
It can be an amazing practice to make as part of your self-care practice. I'm on a self-care mission and if we all took the time for some self-care, we would nourish our roots and find what we need internally rather than always looking for it externally. We would have a solid foundation from which to move through our life from.
Some of the things your inner wise self will just know:
If that doesn't sound exciting, I don't know what will!!
So each and every morning, post meditation, I now sit in complete quietness on my bright orange meditation cushion and ask my inner wise self just what I need to hear that day.
It usually starts of laughing or smiling and then speaks so clearly to me that it makes me smile.
The other week it told me "Shoot for the moon. Be bold. Play big. Be gentle." Another time it said "Allow the frozen parts of yourself to thaw...it's time." Well okay then. That day I wrote and played and felt amazing!! Rather than the 'inaction' I can sometimes feel when producing work and putting myself out there in the world, it produced action and conversations and great feelings all day long.
So often times during the day I will simply check in and this usually means stopping what I am doing just for a moment and asking..."Inner Wise self (IWS) what do I need to know right now...how can you support me?" You could ask this before a meeting, a conversation, an action...
It will tell you, intuition will, a gut feeling, a knowing, a voice, a feeling. One or more of these will show up and give you what you need just in that moment and if you don't receive anything then perhaps you are already acting from it and again you will know.
Once you become present to this self, you will never feel alone again. It will always keep you company and have your back. It will forever push you to take the next right action. It will become a trusted guide and that my friends is the most amazing feeling there is!
Take Care and watch this space...I am off to Bali with my hubby for a vacation and a scouting mission...(I hear holding retreats in my future). I will be posting beautiful visual meditations so check back in.
One beautiful morning, I woke up and truly appreciated my life. Not just the fact that I live in such a peaceful city near the water, but that every day I get to be me.
Unique, alive, caring, loving me!
Every day I grow more comfortable in my skin. I can breathe more deeply, feel more fully and share more abundantly with the world around me.
It wasn't always this way...
One horrible morning many years ago, I woke up with no awareness that my world as I knew it was about to completely change. The girl I was would leave me for such a long time. She would remain hidden away from the world, her head down, her light shut off.
Until very recently, I thought that I had sorted out my shit, dealt with the internal condition, laughed in the face of low self-esteem but it took me going on another learning journey to realise that the girl who had started to shine still had some serious flaws...
I was writing my book Beat Up To Beautiful: a journey to self-acceptance and I kept stopping. I went to lunch with my beautiful Yoga teacher Melissa (POWA centre- go google her as I'm writing from a mobile device and I don't yet know how to put in a link) anyway, here I was telling Melissa that I simply couldn't write my book because I clearly wasn't at the beautiful stage yet. She looked at me with her kind and oh so gentle face and spoke words that rocked my world so much that I had to get her to repeat what she said...
"Isn't stopping writing just another way of beating yourself up?"
"Couldn't part of being beautiful be that we sometimes beat ourselves up?"
1. You are feeling really muddled, confused, overwhelmed, fed up, stuck and you feel that you are never going to move ahead with your goals, dreams, wants for your future.
2. You really feel that life would be better if only you knew what you wanted out of it. You are unsure and have tried many times to make something happen only to fall short time after time.
3. You complain a lot.
4. You don't see how you will ever have something you can't even articulate yet you know SOMETHING needs to change.
5. You are sick of your own complaining.
6. You get jealous every single time you see someone around you beaming, successful, glowing, achieving and thriving.
7. You want to understand yourself better.
8. You want strategies to live a great life.
9. You secretly think nobody will ever feel how unproductive you feel at times, sometimes....ok...all the bloody time!
10. You want clarity, momentum, ideas, awareness...joy.
11. You want someone to be radically honest with you, support you, understand you, assist you, partner with you, champion for you and keep you accountable for the change you say you want...when you know what that is...